Dublin, Kinley House Hostel 10:30. The first participants of the ISIS 2006 project are due to arrive in about two hours from now. Too little time to go out into town and come back for their arrival – or is it just that I am too nervous to do anything real now? Yes, I guess.
It is absurd, I am probably the most nervous person in the whole hostel this morning and yet I am the only one who is sitting still. Everyone around me is rushing around; hectically dishwashing after breakfast, running up and down the wooden staircase because their taxi has already arrived and their suitcase is still in their dormitory.
I think myself very clever because I brought with me my laptop computer so it looks as if I was working. However, if anybody took the time to really observe me for three minutes, they would notice that I am only pretending to concentrate – like a child who is playing to be a busy shop keeper or a serious bank clerk.
Katja offered to join me in the wait for the groups but I preferred to be alone. When I feel uncomfortable or nervous or worried, I usually prefer to be alone, because I am worried my nervousness could get on other people’s nerves.
I really have no excuse for being nervous. I have been through this moment so many times, year after year – there is no reasonable excuse at all, I tell myself. The Swedish group will land on time at 11:30 and the Spanish group at 12:50. They will be well; everything will have gone according to plan. They will be politely smiling, like I will, both parties hiding their insecurities, worries, doubts about what will happen. We will be wearing a mask of politeness - it will be a whole day before we will all behave like human beings.
Text message from the Swedish group. David writes:
“Swedish group has landed. Getting into taxi now. Will be in the hostel in 40 minutes.” David cannot know how much he has relieved me with his short message. Or maybe he does. From our direct contact through the internet he might have found out that I can be a bit of a worrier 
They will be here in 30 minutes. And an hour later the Spanish group will arrive.
Here they come! I must not forget to smile! They will be as nervous as I am.
Laurent